It has come to my attention that at least one Monstrosity owner has been attacked by his pipe. The more than shaken chap called for help amidst the tangle and explained that his Monstrosity was angry with him for not smoking it as often as it likes and began a campaign of rage and possibly terror as well upon his body. The fellow went on to describe his bruising and lacerations with some detail. I coached the Monstrosity owner to calm the beast with fine tobacco and wooden matches. In a situation like this, smoking the beast as soon
as possible is key. Luckily I was able to help quell the beast before the scene turned into something even more ugly. Please be warned. A Monstrosity pipe is to be smoked regularly lest you, as the beast's owner, risk life and limb. I will gladly send bandages to any Monstrosity owner on a "as needed" basis, but can not answer to any medical bills that may arise from cuts, scrapes, blunt trauma and the like.
AuthorOlie Sylvester